One day, after Jesus had finished praying, "one of his disciples said to him, 'Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught his disciples' (Luke 11:1). As Jesus replied, I'm sure that the other disciples listened attentively. The Master himself was going to reveal the secret of his communion with God! And the first word he said was, "Father. . ."
Thus he admitted his followers to the same intimacy he enjoyed with his Father.
When we sense the presence of God in Jesus and open our hearts to him, his Spirit becomes joined to our spirit. In a mysterious but very real way, we begin to partake of a new life that is not subject to sin and death. We walk in newness of life that consists not simply in the forgiveness of sin, but also in the discovery that the Father of Jesus is now our Father. The Spirit leads us into deeper experience of God, not for the sake of experiences, but for the sake of a deeper and more abiding union with him. The Spirit unites with our weak and ignorant spirits, and helps us to know, in a way that affects our emotions and memories, our past experiences and our present fears, the all-surpassing love God the Father has for us.
Once we have joined ourselves to Christ-and drunk of his Spirit, one search has come to an end, but another has begun-what the Scripture calls seeking the face of God.
"Come," my heart says, "Seek his face!"
Your face, LORD, do I seek.
Do not hide your face from me (Psalm 27:8-9,:NRSV).
God continually uses language drawn from the deepest and most intense human relationships to reveal himself as father, mother, brother, friend, husband, and bridegroom. He encourages us to know him and relate to him in these ways. He tells us we can reliably relate to him in these ways for this is who he is to us. Going on with God involves prayer. Prayer is simply the name that has traditionally been given to communication, conversation with God, awareness of him, consciously being present to him, and his being present to us.
God is everywhere, always, and we can communicate with him in the Spirit, everywhere, always. In fact, Paul commands us, "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and we ought to expect that increasingly we'll be able to pray always. Christian tradition, especially in Russian Christianity and the monasticism of the East, has attempted with real success to live out this command of Paul's, this urging of the Spirit.
The main kind of prayer that I'd like to consider in this booklet is prayer when we're alone. Sometimes this is called private prayer, but I prefer to call it personal prayer, although this does not imply that prayer with others or in the official Christian assembly is impersonal. This way of prayer is often neglected today by many Christians, and yet it is the kind of prayer most centrally bound up with seeking the face of God and being in the kind of close union with him that these times require.
Daily prayer
Most of the laws we discover in the development of our human relationships apply also to our relationship with God. For example, in a marriage relationship, if the husband and wife don't take some time regularly to communicate and just to be together, their service to one another, to their children, and to others will deteriorate. Just being physically present to one another or even working together on something isn't enough to sustain and deepen the relationship. If the family functioned as a group all the time and there were never times when a child and one of his parents could simply be together and communicate, the children would tend to withdraw, not develop quickly, and in general lose their vitality and joy. If two friends were friends in name and not in deed, if they never spent time together and got to know each other increasingly well, the friendship would not be very supportive or satisfying.
The same laws of regularity of intimate communication apply to our relationship with God. If we don't spend time alone regularly with him, just paying attention to him and being with him, not doing anything else, there will be something missing in our relationship and it will manifest itself in a variety of ways: in less enthusiasm for the Christian life, little growth in becoming a new person, greater susceptibility to sin, less power in witnessing.
Long ago I recognized that a daily time of personal prayer was essential for being able to know the Lord in the way in which I sensed him calling me. Sometimes over the years I took this daily time in my room, sometimes in a church, sometimes in my office. Sometimes it was just before supper or just before going to bed, but usually it was the first thing in the morning, before I started work. Occasionally there have been particularly busy times when I was simply unable to have time for personal prayer, but these periods have seldom extended beyond a period of several days.
Faithfulness to a daily prayer time has made a significant difference for me in following Jesus
and living the Christian life. If, in earlier years, I missed a day or two of prayer, it showed up
in obvious ways. If I was somewhat irritable or distant, my wife would ask, "Ralph, have you prayed today?" My enthusiasm for the Christian life diminished, God seemed less close and personal, it became harder to relate lovingly to people, and my desire to serve others flagged.
In fact, I would say that the single most important decision I have made, after turning to Christ
and deciding to commit myself to my fellow Christians, was my commitment to daily personal prayer. The trouble of working a personal prayer time into my daily schedule has been well worthwhile.
I have never met anyone, in centuries past in Christian literature or today in my own experience, who has effectively succeeded in having their whole life and work as genuine worship without definite time spent in regular personal prayer. In a mature and unusually blessed marriage relationship or friendship, the persons involved may be able to go for days on end with unbrokenly being present to one another and in profound communion without taking time specifically to spend together, but it is very rare if at all possible and certainly not indefinitely. Jesus, who had the most intimate relationship with the Father possible and the most unbroken communion, except when it was willingly sacrificed as he tasted desolation and death for us, set a conspicuous example of slipping away to spend time alone with the Father, even whole nights, and directed his followers to do the same:
When you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you (Matthew 6:6).
We see also how he desires those following him to be close to him, to give him support and personal friendship: You could not keep watch with me one hour? (Matthew 26:40)
Time and Place
Finding the right time is going to take some thought and some consultation with those we live and work with. Generally, it seems best to choose a daily time for personal prayer as one of the first things in the morning. For some, however, this is not desirable or possible. For some, scheduling the prayer time into the lunch hour seems to be best; for others, some evening hour; for some, the hour must vary from day to day, but if a daily prayer time is not scheduled for each of these days, it almost certainly will not happen regularly, if at all. A real estate man I know gets up early in the morning to pray; an aerospace engineer prays and reads Scripture on his lunch hour; a production manager of a computing firm prays after the children are in bed at night.
Some have a reluctance to schedule because it seems "unspontaneous. " But if we consider any other important relationship, we realize thatwhen it becomes serious it passes from the spontaneous (and haphazard) to the committed and scheduled. If two people want to become more than mere acquaintances, they need to agree on definite times and places to get together. If parents of a growing family want to regularly spend time together, they must schedule it, plan on it and arrange for babysitting. Romantic ideas about spontaneity are just that: romantic and not realistic. There is plenty of room for spontaneity within the framework of a committed relationship with regular times scheduled to be spent together. There can be extra times together, unplanned and spontaneous. There can be spontaneity within the regular times. But if there is no base of committed regular time together, there is not going to be much of a relationship.
Finding the right place is also important not usually quite as difficult as finding the right time. It should be a place where we are comfortable (not too hot or cold); a place without a lot of distractions; a place where we will not be interrupted; a place where we can sit or stand or walk or kneel, as the Spirit may lead us; a place where we can sing or dance as well as remain silent. If the ideal place does not exist, get the best you can, and God will honor it. As seemingly mundane as considerations of time and place are, working them out satisfactorily can solve a lot of spiritual problems.
How to pray
Some people feel that prayer "comes naturally" and there is no need for instruction. Most people, however, even though they are experiencing a renewed or new life with God in the Holy Spirit, run into problems and questions in prayer and are not satisfied with their progress. Half the battle is regularizing the daily time and place of prayer. Many other problems flow from ignorance of how to spend a profitable prayer time.
I would like to suggest a prayer time with a simple structure that allows a great deal of variety and response to the Spirit's leadings, yet gives enough form so that one is not at a loss when times of dryness come. This kind of structure comes naturally to some, but by no means to all. Even those praying in this way spontaneously can find help in becoming conscious of what they are doing and why, both for the inevitable days of testing ahead, and to learn to share their good fortune and help others into a regular life of personal prayer.
Spiritual reading
Christians from all centuries have agreed that personal prayer should be supported by regularly reading' Scripture and other books that reveal something of God and give us a desire to know and love him more. Spiritual reading does not aim at knowing for the sake of knowing, or knowing for the sake of doing something. Prayerfully reading the Scriptures, listening for the word of the Lord, is spiritual reading... Reading the biography of a great man or woman of God, with the primary purpose of learning how to serve; God better and love him more, and being inspired to that end, is spiritual reading.
An ancient method of prayer and spiritual reading consists in slowly and prayerfully reading a passage from Scripture, pausing again to let prayer develop from that, alternating for the whole prayer time. The regularity of the reading guards from distractions, and the freedom to move to prayer as the Spirit leads gives the necessary freedom. It is a method of working prayer and spiritual reading together that many have found helpful and that has produced real holiness.
Another way of combining spiritual reading and prayer would be to spend the first half of our prayer period in spiritual reading, and the second half in prayer, or vice versa. This would allow a fuller development of the prayer response in praise, worship, petition, silence, or whatever. Many today are finding listening to cassette tapes on spiritual subjects as effective a supplement to prayer as is spiritual reading. It is imperative that, whatever method we use, we put the book down or turn the tape off and turn to the Lord directly! Reading is an aid, not a substitute.
I would like to indicate some of the elements that should be regularly represented in our prayer once we do turn directly to the Lord. There are things the Spirit regularly strives to do in each of us. The Spirit blows where he wills, but it helps to have our bearings.
Praise
Frequently the Spirit moves us to praise. Prayers of praise are found throughout the Scriptures and our liturgical services, but how seldom are they prayed from the heart! Glory to God for the freedom to praise him! It is good to praise the Lord even when we do not feel like it; feelings sometimes follow our praising from our will. Praise can be silent or vocal. Oftentimes I find it helpful to walk around my office where I pray, clapping my hands and singing. How good God is, how good it is to praise him!
Silent adoration
Sometimes after praising the Lord, or before or during, silent adoration is appropriate. It is good to be silent before the Lord and aware of his presence. Sometimes that is what the Spirit is doing in us. To try to pray out loud at that time would be grieving him. Sometimes we may be silent for the whole prayer period, not in the dead silence of vacuity, or sleep, but in the full silence of awareness of him.
For God alone my soul waits in silence (Psalm 62:1, NRSV).
Be still, and know that I am God! (Psalm 46:10 NRSV)
Many years ago, I had an experience that remarkably illustrated how the Spirit leads us at times simply to be still and know that he is God. I had come into work in the morning and wasn't feeling very well at all. I had a headache and felt nauseous, yet I knew I should attempt my regular prayer time anyway. But the sound of voices in animated conversation from adjoining offices made it almost impossible to concentrate, on top of feeling ill, so I went to a nearby storeroom and brought in a chair to sit and pray. But I could hardly hold my head up straight it hurt so much, so I leaned forward on to a carton and just rested it there. I could scarcely think straight for the tiredness and the pain but somehow deep in my being I tried to turn to God and just point in his direction, as it were. As I did so, I began to sense that he was there, that he was coming to me and filling me up. In a few minutes, as I held very still, increasingly aware of him, not moving, or able to say words, not really having the strength to pray, he seemed to comfort me with his Spirit and presence and in a few more minutes the pain had gone away, the headache and nausea was gone, the tiredness was gone, and I was able to joyfully praise him and sing. This has happened before and since, and it seems to be one of the ways the Lord teaches me about holding still and being silent, and letting him be God.
Conviction
Sometimes the Spirit will give us a conviction, that is, cause us to become aware of something in our life. Sometimes he uses our prayer time to make us aware of something that is not right. Perhaps something that needs to change in our priorities or schedule, or something that needs to change in our relationship to our wife or children or coworkers. The Spirit is striving to bring forth in us the fullness of the new creation and will be showing us things that need to be changed. We must be open to this work of his. Sometimes take some time in prayer just to ask him to show you things and consider your life before him, asking for light.
A few years ago, for example, I was praying and I began to have a strong sense that I ought to reflect on my relationship with my wife. The particular area was an area in which I was frequently impatient with her. I felt the Lord was giving me a sense, through his Spirit, that it was never helpful or loving to be impatient in the particular situation, and that I needed to resolve not to respond like that again. That made a major difference in my response in certain situations and resulted in a real change. Things like that periodically happen, and we need to be alert and listen when the Lord speaks to us like this.
Revelation
Sometimes the Spirit will reveal to us a new insight into Christian truth. It may come from reading, it may come directly in prayer; we should let it come, receive it, mull over it, let it bring life to us. Revelation given in this manner is a special work of the Holy Spirit and makes more difference in our lives than theology courses on the subject. The Spirit, as Jesus promised, will lead us into all truth, and recall and make vivid to our minds what Jesus has said. Carry this new truth around with you all day, and all night, and all week; rejoice in it, thank God for it, share it with others.
I recall a few months before getting married, sitting on the floor in my room praying and getting a distinct sense that the Lord was showing me that my life from now on needed to be based on unity with him and unity with my wife. He gave me a clear sense that this was to be the basis out of which my life would be fruitful. Since then I've found this "revelation," which is how I experienced it, bearing very good fruit in my life and proving to be absolutely true.
I remember also a few months before that, sitting on the same floor praying, and thinking over a talk I was going to give to some college students on the basic Christian message, when all of a sudden the Spirit began to give me a new understanding of the Trinity; the "revelation" of which has continued to be very important in my personal life and how I experience God.
Intercession
Very often the Spirit will lead us to intercession, that is, to pray for needs that we and others have. Sometimes our whole prayer time will be taken up with this. At other times, the Spirit will not let us intercede, but directs us simply to praise. Jesus not only wants intercession to be part of our regular prayer, he also wants us to see our prayers answered. But before we look at intercession more closely, let's consider the difficulties that come in prayer.
Do not lose heart
Anyone who has tried to pray has at one time or another found it difficult.
"I'm not experiencing the presence of God. I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall. God seems absent." "I'm distracted constantly. I seem restless, preoccupied."
Many who set out on the way to a deepening personal relationship with God have turned back because of these difficulties. With modest courage and understanding, however, we can get through them with the right help and encouragement. I want to consider some of the common problems that people experience, and ways we can work them through.
Dryness
Dryness is perhaps the most common difficulty. After initial conversion or renewal, it is almost certain to come. Dryness consists in not experiencing the presence of God or the desire to pray. God may seem absent or distant; we may feel we are talking to ourselves. It becomes more difficult to persist in prayer under such circumstances; yet if understood correctly, these can be special times of grace.
Experience of God is intended to be a normal part of the Christian life. It is not, however, without its variations. Sometimes our failure to experience God in a sensible manner comes through no fault of our own, but is a normal stage in God's purification of our desire and intention to serve and follow him. When we experience his presence in a satisfying way, our feelings may well become the motive for our love of him. Love will not mature or deepen unless it reaffirms its choice of the Beloved when the consolation of experience is not there.
Some dry times are caused by normal fluctuations in our human nature. Our psychological and physical - well-being will inevitably affect our experience of God. Lack of sleep or food (or too much) can affect our prayer times, as can the psychological drain of long sustained efforts. We should not be alarmed at these effects but should seek God for the wisdom we need to deal with the root problems.
Our experience of God will deepen as our fidelity through dry times remains steady. Temptations to shorten our prayer times ' curing these periods, or to drop them altogether, should be resisted. Getting out of the habit of regular prayer prolongs the dry time, and makes it more difficult to respond to the next prompting of the Holy Spirit.
Trials and suffering
Our progress in prayer may also be interrupted when we become involved in difficult or painful situations. Much of what was said about dryness applies here. We are warned in Scripture that we will not be magically spared trials and sufferings as Christians; indeed, we are told that God often permits trials to bring about the steadfastness and seriousness of character that he wants us to have (James 1:24). But we can be assured that God will bring great good out of everything that happens (Romans 8:28).
There are, however, some trials that God does not intend us to accept in faith but to resist and overcome: sufferings come from our own sin or an attack of Satan. Things that we bring on ourselves or have control over we should repent of, resist, or change. It is not God's will that we experience them. There are also some trials that may indeed be attributed in some way to Satan but are to be borne in faith. God will bring good out of them.
The main kind of suffering spoken of in the Scriptures comes from the attempt to follow Christ faithfully. It is the suffering of death to selfand the daily carrying of the cross: the persecution and inconvenience that are encountered; the sacrifices that must be made; the misunderstanding that must be endured. It is a suffering that is to be borne joyfully and counted as a normal part of our life.
Beloved, do not be surprised that a trial by fire is occurring among you, as if something strange were happening to you. But rejoice to the extent that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that when his glory is revealed you may rejoice exultantly (I Peter 4:12-13).
Skipping prayer time
We may have difficulty experiencing God because we are skipping our prayer time or letting it get pushed out of our schedule. I cannot overemphasize the importance of faithfulness and regularity; they significantly reduce many of the problems people experience in trying to pray. We usually need the support of other people encouraging us to take our prayer time and not asking us to do other things at that time. It may appear Christian to yield to every demand, even when it consistently prevents us from praying, but it is not. We can become bound up by what has been called the "tyranny of the urgent." We must always be ready to help a brother or sister in need even if it interferes with our prayer time, but we need also to have God's own wisdom and to know that to choose a life of personal prayer, to choose to be faithful to our daily prayer time (making allowances for legitimate exceptions), is to be choosing the pearl of great price, the treasure in the field: God himself.
At the same time, it is possible to use our prayer time as a means to hurt other people or shirk our responsibilities. A parent who schedules his prayer time for the hour after supper, when several children need to be put to bed and the service of both parents is required, will only cause hurt and resentment. The solution is not to give up our prayer time, but to find a better time. In families, parents should work out their personal prayer times in light of each other's needs, to their mutual satisfaction. It may take a while to hit on the right time, but keep trying.
We may experience difficulty in prayer because we have committed ourselves to a prayer time that is too long or too short. If too long, it becomes a strain and a burden; if too short, it will not allow for all that the Holy Spirit wants to do in us. Something between the time we pray on our best days and the time we pray on our worst days is probably right. If we are just beginning to pray, it would be good to be conservative, taking perhaps ten to fifteen minutes a day for the whole prayer period, including some spiritual reading. We can increase it gradually to a half hour, and perhaps eventually to an hour.
Sin and resentment
Unconfessed sin can choke off our prayer. When we do something wrong, we ought immediately to confess to the Lord, repent of it, and firmly resolve not to repeat it. We can be assured of Christ's forgiveness when we confess our sin, and we should not allow guilt to plague us or quench our prayer. There is no place for guilt in the Christian life except as a sign that we need to confess to the Lord. "If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing" (I John 1:9).
Jesus' directives for our relationships are clear. We are to continuously forgive others and not hold any resentment against them, forgiving as he himself forgives. In fact, he taught us to ask him to forgive us as we forgive others. He told us to turn back from worship if there is anything wrong between us and our brothers and set that right first (Matthew 5:23-24). To a standing degree, problems in this area are a hindrance to joy and peace in prayer. The lack of peace is often a signal that we need to take care of the problems.
Preoccupation and anxiety
"Psychic overload"-having too much going on, too much to think about-is one of the commonest causes of difficulty in prayer. The only cure is to put some order into our life, possibly do less and clear out some peaceful time to be with the Lord. Even with a good time for personal prayer, if the rest of our life is too intensely packed with activities, we are likely to remain preoccupied while praying.
Some people who say they have no time to pray actually have plenty of time, but have managed and invested it badly. Sometimes they do not really know how they are spending their time. Here we again see the value of a schedule. We need to sit down and see what we are doing and when we are doing it, and then evaluate what we should do and when we should do it. Then we can figure out which things are most important, giving a high priority to personal prayer. We can schedule these things and work with that schedule for a while, expecting to make adjustments before it works well. We may have to revise it periodically as circumstances change. Making a workable schedule is an art that requires much practice and involves many mistakes, but is one well worth learning.
Some people are doing too much and need to slow down. We must have enough breathing space and leisure to allow a spirit of prayer to develop and permeate our whole life. Making decisions about our job and where we live, our friends and our activities with an eye to their effect on our ability to spend time with the Lord and maintain a basic sense of peace, is very important.
The Scripture contains some clear instructions about anxiety. Jesus told his disciples, "Do not seek what you are to eat or what you are to drink, and do not worry any more" (Luke 12:29); Paul exhorted the Philippians to "have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God" (Philippians 4:6). If we do not obey these instructions, anxiety will undercut our prayer. We must learn how to give our anxiety over to the Lord: "Cast all your worries on him because he cares about you" (I Peter 5:7).
Sleepiness and distractions
If we are sleepy, we should consider whether we are getting enough sleep, rest and exercise. Sometimes it helps to change our prayer posture and begin to pray more actively, perhaps standing or walking around and praying out loud or singing. This can in fact make fruitful a prayer time that could have easily been short- circuited by sleep or distractions.
Superficial distractions, as opposed to more deep rooted problems arising from lack of organization, can be handled in a number of ways. Some can be incorporated into our prayer. For example, if we are concerned about some situation, we can turn it over to the Lord and move on to other things. Things we"remember to do" while praying can be jotted down quickly on a nearby pad for later reference, and we can go on in prayer freed of the anxiety of forgetting.
Some distractions must simply be endured and made the best of: the noise of pneumatic drills when the street is under construction, for example. Some distractions can be eliminated by taking specific action. For example, at one time I found it very distracting to see a pile of messages, memos, and correspondence waiting on my desk when I arrived at the office and took my prayer time. I solved that by asking my secretary to hold them until I finish praying.
It is important that we not be slaves to the phone or mailman or whatever. A peaceful and uninterrupted prayer time makes quite a difference in our ability to pray.
Letting our mind wander or daydream can sometimes only be successfully dealt with by vigorous resistance.There is an undeniable element of crucifying the flesh involved in the Christian life, and unless we have the courage to endure the pain of self-denial when appropriate we will not make much progress. But God is faithful and he will give us the courage we need. In fact he probably already has. Use it.
The joy of answered prayer
After I returned to Christ and experienced the power of his Spirit in my life I began to feel that I should pray for particular people and situations. Frequently, I would see the things I prayed for happen. Sometimes it was small matters-locked doors opening, lost objects found, guidance given for small decisions. Sometimes it was more serious matters-people being healed, people coming to know the Lord for themselves, even finding $1O,OOO for the down payment on a house.
God wants to give us a sense of what to pray for and wants to answer our prayers. Jesus told his disciples time and again that they could ask the Father for things and see them granted, because they too were now his sons.
Sometimes Christians focus on promises from the Scripture and attempt to act on them. When nothing happens, they face a strong temptation to resentment and cynicism about God's love for them. As with all the important topics treated in Scripture, we need to look at the context of Jesus' remarks and the totality of things he says to understand him correctly. What is the wisdom Jesus gives his disciples about the conditions for effective intercessory prayer?
1. "If you remain in me and my words remain in you ask for whatever you want, and it will be done for you" (John 15: 7). The relationship implied in the image of the vine and the branches that Jesus uses in John 15 is obviously quite deep. Jesus adds that his words must remain in us, that-what he teaches and reveals and requests must take life in our lives if we are to ask and receive in prayer. He makes it clear that God is glorified when men prove by the fruitfulness of their lives, including their effectiveness in intercessory prayer, that they are truly joined to Jesus. There is no getting around it: Effectiveness in intercessory prayer is directly related to holiness, our union and conformity to the person and teaching of Jesus. These glorious promises cannot be superficially claimed by those not in such union with Jesus; to do so is to mock the realities of the relationship involved.
2. "Whatever you ask the Father in my name, he will give you "(John 16:23). Some people reading this promise of Jesus conclude every intercessory prayer with the words "in the name of Jesus," looking to this as a magical formula that ensures results. But asking "in the name of Jesus" means asking in accordance with his most profound and deep intentions and purposes, asking out of familiarity with them and in harmony with them. A "name" in Scripture denotes an invocation of a person's whole being, not merely the word that will get his attention. To be able to ask "in the name of Jesus" is to ask out of an abiding union and knowledge of him, and in accordance with his purposes.
3. "And we have this confidence in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us "(1 John 5:14). Asking out of an abiding union with him implicitly means asking according to his will, asking for something that is in keeping with the purposes of God. Before we ask for something we ought to consider before the Lord whether it is according to his will and purposes or not. This requires familiarity with God's purposes as expressed in Scripture as well as sensitivity to the Holy Spirit's leading as to the time, place, and form in which the desired action of God should take place. When we have reasonable assurance from the Word and the Spirit that something is in accordance with God's will, we can ask with confidence. For example, I know from Scripture it is God's will that all men be saved, so I can pray with confidence for a particular person to come to know the Lord. Unless I receive a special leading from the Lord, however, I cannot with confidence specify the means of the conversion or the time.
The realization that we need to ask with a certain purity of heart, in accordance with God's will and purpose, helps us to understand why so much prayer is not effective. In his epistle, James puts his finger on some of the obvious reasons: "You do not possess because you do not ask. You ask but do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions "(James 4:2).
4. Leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:24). Jesus warns us that if our brother has something against us, or things are not right in our relationships, we should settle these things before we approach him in prayer. In the book of Sirach we are told to honor our parents, so our prayers may not be hindered (Sirach 3:5). In Peter's first letter (3:7) he commends us, "Likewise you husbands should live with your wives in understanding . . . so that your prayers may not be hindered." Fundamental patterns of injustice or selfishness in our family or business life can also hinder our prayers and must be resolved if God is to grant our requests. In this respect, our contribution or involvement in social justice or injustice affects our relationship with God.
If you remove from your midst oppression,
false accusation and malicious speech;
If you bestow your bread on the hungry,
and satisfy the afflicted;
The light shall rise for you in the darkness,
and the gloom shall become for you like noon.
Then the Lord will guide you always
and give you plenty even in a parched land.
He will renew your strength,
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring whose water never fails
(Isaiah 58:1-11).
In short, sin can hinder prayer.
Everything is possible to one who has faith (Mark 9:23). In many examples of effective intercessory prayer in the gospels Jesus commends the person who has asked for something for his faith. Let us take a look at several of these incidents and consider what is being said.
In Mark 7:24-30 Jesus is approached by a Gentile woman who falls at his feet and begs him to cast an evil spirit out of her daughter. He replies, "Let the children be fed first. For it is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs," indicating that it was not yet time to bring his message to the Gentiles. She persists and a answers, "Lord, even the dogs under the table eat the children's scraps." Jesus responds to her persistence and humility by freeing her daughter.
In Mark 9:21-29 a father brings his son who is gravely afflicted by an evil spirit to Jesus, and asks that Jesus help him "if you can." Jesus replies, "If you can! Everything is possible to one who has faith." Immediately the father of the child cries out, "I do believe, help my unbelief!" The boy was freed. The boy's father turns to Jesus with the faith he has, weak and wavering as it is, and that is enough for Jesus to use his power and free the boy.
In Mark 10:13-16 we meet another situation that teaches us about how Jesus wants people to come to him in faith, directly and simply. "And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it. " And he embraced them and blessed them, placing his hands upon them."
Jesus was indignant in this incident. In the previous one he was disturbed at someone doubting his power. He is making painfully clear how much he wants us to trust in his power, to trust in his immense love and goodness that wants to receive us and our requests.
In all these incidents Jesus blesses those who in their need turn to him with their whole hearts, who are not held back by what people think, and who are not ashamed to let their need show. We see Jesus responding with equal depth of emotion, reaching out to the depth of the human need that turns to him for its solution. We see him pointedly insisting on receiving the people who come to him with such naturalness and honesty of need and faith, indignant at those who would hinder or block them.
If I could sum up in one word the quality of faith I see in the Gospels, it would be to call it a "gutsy" faith, a faith that is full-bodied and alive with the direct call of "deep calling to deep. " It is persistent, it is aggressive, it is direct, it is simple, it is imperfect, it is hungry, it is earnest-but it is real. We ought to be fully human and unashamed of our humanity, our concern for our daughter or son, or for our own needs, as we approach the God who made us that way and is waiting for us to come to him in that way. Jesus himself approached God in that way and communicated with his whole heart in prayer to the Father.
In the days when he was in the flesh, he offered
prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears
to the one who was able to save him from death,
and he was heard because of his reverence (Hebrews 5:7).
Do not get discouraged by where you are as regards abiding with the Lord. There is an important essential link between holiness and regularly fruitful intercession, but God is willing to start with us where we are. Start praying for what seems within reach of your faith and union, even if the things are simple and small. Some of my most joyful moments still come when Jesus starts the car on freezing winter days, or finds the key that has been lost, or stops a cold that was sure to develop into something more. Consider before the Lord what one or two or three specific needs or people he wants you to pray for and make this a regular daily practice, looking for the results. Be specific in the requests, after forming the request in prayer, and be persistent. When things don't seem to be working out, ask the Lord for understanding why. There are still many unexplained prayer mysteries in my own life, but the Holy Spirit, despite what I don't understand about why a particular situation didn't seem to work out, seems to be ever renewing my desire to pray again. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Expect to. Expect the Holy Spirit to teach you more and more about intercessory prayer. It's your heritage as sons and daughters of God.
Union with God
Praying should never be a burden, but a gift. For it to be that it needs to be done in response to the prompting of the Holy Spirit who gives us the desire, helps us hear the call of God, and makes us able to be aware of him and pray. We, in our weakness, don't always know how to pray, but God's Spirit will help us. Don't strain, don't force anything. All will come in due time, if we're faithful to what the Holy Spirit is prompting us to do today.
It can be helpful to take advantage of different opportunities during the day outside of our regular prayer time to pause for a few moments and explicitly turn to God in praise, or in silence, or in petition. Whenever we have a few spare moments between duties, appointments, before typing the next letter, seeing the next patient, changing the next diaper, loading the next load, rather than filling it up with something else, just pause for a few moments, sit down, be quiet and be aware of him, who is with us always. There are usually several opportunities like this for all of us every day. Taking advantage of them as moments of being aware of him can make a great difference in our abiding union with him. Singing while walking down the street or driving in the car or praying or being silent are all ways in which God can come to us and be present to us.
God is freeing us to participate more and more consciously with him and Jesus and the Spirit in their life of love and commitment and union. That is what Jesus promised, and that is what his Spirit is working to produce. His Spirit is mingled with our spirit. He is side by side with us, as an older brother with a younger brother, helping, encouraging, prodding, pulling, nurturing, leading. His Spirit is in intimate contact with our spirit and is actively influencing, gently working to heal us and free us and help us to see, most of all preparing us to see what, or rather who we have received-Jesus and the Father within us. Growing in prayer is letting Jesus and the Father more and more fully live within us and work through us, flowing from the depths of our being, forming us to be a manifestation, instrument, participator in their divine life and mission.
For more information on this topic you may wish to read:
Hungry for God: Practical Help in Personal Prayer by Ralph Martin
Available from:
Renewal Ministries
P.O. Box 8229
Ann Arbor, MI 48107
Copyright ©1992 by Ralph Martin All rights reserved. Used with permission
Published by Renewal Ministries P.O. Box 8229 Ann Arbor, MI 48107
How Can I Pray? has been adapted from Hungry for God: Practical Help in Personal Prayer, copyright ©1974 by Ralph Martin
Unless otherwise indicated, scripture texts used in this work are taken from the New American Bible with Revised New Testament, copyright ©1979, 1986 by the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine. AII rights reserved.
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